P-Town Family Week: 'COLAGErs Have All the Answers'

Ed. Note: This is the last in a series of posts from Alison Delpercio, HRC’s Workplace & Family Project Coordinator, who is spending the week in Provincetown, Massachusetts volunteering at Family Week.

Today is my last full day here. I just got back from our Community Circle event where we brought together all 250 of the youth for a chance to do the official COLAGE cheer, take a picture and share lessons learned from the week. I have an hour for lunch before I have to go prep for the show and tell performances tonight. Let’s see…

Thursday was a blast. The water balloon volleyball went over well. Filling the balloons left me completely soaked before we even started playing. I lead a lunch chat for 2nd generation COLAGErs (people who have LGBTQ parents and also identify as LGBTQ). It was great to hear the youth talk about their experiences coming out to their parents and friends and to have the opportunity to share with them my coming out story. After lunch, my team won the scavenger hunt (no surprise there)! The hunt took us all around Commercial St., we counted all different types of rainbows throughout PTown and even got a drag queen to kiss a napkin.

The highlight of the day was definitely the Teen Panel. Parents gathered in the high school auditorium and submitted written questions to a panel of teens from the high school group. The teens represented a broad range of backgrounds and family stories. A few were born out of a different-sex relationship like me, some were conceived through donor insemination, some were adopted – both domestically and internationally. Everyone was impressed by their thoughtful, articulate answers. One panelist put it perfectly when he said, “We have all the answers!” True story.

Here are a few of the questions and some of the responses from the youth:

Q: “What was the most difficult period in your youth?”
A: “Middle school by far. In general middle schoolers are pure evil.”

Q: “How open are you about your family in school?
A: “I usually let people find out on their own.”

Q: “Is it hard for you to bring friends over to your house?”
A: “If you treat it like it is normal, they’ll treat it like normal. I just say ‘These are my moms.’ And then we’re like ‘Let’s play playstation!’”

Q: “For those of you who were transracially adopted, how can white parents best support kids of color?”
A:“Be open to conversations about race and try to understand your kids’ experiences. Also be willing and able to step back. Find your kids a mentor who has the same background as them.”

Q: If you had a known donor, when did your parents tell you about him?
A: “My parents didn’t tell me information about my donor until I was five. If you have a known donor I suggest you have them be part of your life from the beginning.”

Parents can learn a lot from COLAGErs. After all, who knows what it is like to grow up with LGBTQ parents better than those actually doing so? If you want to learn more from COLAGEr experiences, you can check out COLAGE’s resources for parents or a great book called Families Like Mine by Abigail Garner.

As for me, I’ve got to eat, head to the show and tell event and then get ready for the dance tonight. I’m looking forward to some crazy COLAGE dancing one last time before I catch an early ferry to Boston tomorrow. I will be back in DC by tomorrow night. Wow, that went quick. Thanks for reading.